Thoughts Currently Present.

Even though this is my blog open to the world, I hope it helps whoever is reading it.

Why do I worry? Anxiety claimed my life once, I had anxiety trouble, and it required counseling. Amongst other things I had to talk out with a counselor,it became more controlled. And I don't know why we worry so much, when we have a big God.

-Wanting to take control?
-Wanting our way?
-Lack of trust?
-Lack of control?
-Pain?
-Something goes wrong?
-Lack of faith in God.

Worry can tear lives apart. It tears apart relationships, self-confidence, faith and belief in God, trust in others, thought patterns, appetite, sleep, breath. It causes one to turn internally. This is from experience.

Earlier, I was with a significant other, noticing my worrying was making me too quiet, and causes me to doubt myself. This can make me lose someone. God really means it when He wants us to give something up.

I am struggling with wanting my own way, control instead of God's. I think my lack of devotion time is adding to it.

[I am a person that has to have it. Otherwise, I fall a little within a day. When I try to take control].

You know those songs that are so convicting? Yeah, have those right now.

And God, He is loving. Every time we fall, every time we grow away, every time we repeat a mistake or run or hide [which, hiding to me from God, is quite hard] or don't want to face conviction, He runs towards us with open arms and hugs us and calls us His sons or daughters, as if nothing ever happened.

Someone wrote me once: "You worship like no one is watching. You love like you have never been hurt."

I hope that stays in my heart forever. I love God beyond the skies, and I am deep and cannot tell how deep. I am God's masterpiece.

[God, restore me to my innermost being.]

While I've experienced downgrading as a bad thing, I realize that who God made me at the core, is the best for everything. <3 Nothing else will do.

So, pray for me friends, that I give up my wants, way, control, worry, and grow up. And most of all, my lack of faith, lack of belief and trust, in God and people, even myself.

[THAT I LOVE MYSELF].

[BECAUSE FRIENDS, THE MEDIA LIES. WHO YOU ARE, IS A MASTERPIECE OF GOD. HIS IMAGE. CAN'T GET ANY BETTER THAN THAT. PRAISE GOD. WORRY SUCKS].