As a new EMT on a Fire Department in a new town I'm living in, I was wondering how to be a Christian example without appearing judgmental. A friend, I figured. Which is how it's supposed to be. A relationship with God and others (love God love people). So I decided to not appear too "Jesus-y" and say this or that, and cause judgment. This was a tricky step to actually downgrading my faith, hiding, but not being ashamed. Compromise, ceasing in reading His thoughts, talking to Him, and deal with my problems my own way.
Sometimes I honestly get tired of the same thing all the time, the same things said to me, and the same way frequently. Tired of judgment and condemnation and legalism. Tired of having "friends" that are only there when they need me for something. Sometimes I enjoy dealing with things on my own with God, because He knows it all. Nothing wrong with that right?
Ever feel like you're too small or outgrown something? Need to move on? Yep as do I.
Ever feel like you're afraid to admit because you know whatever it is, is right?
Control is a major inherited issue with me. Chaos is caused without Jesus being my attention. Chaos, stress, impatience, denial, deception, sin, lust, self-hurt, hurt, boredom, inability, loss of focus, loss of enthusiasm, interest and wonder, not wanting to get out of bed, being hurtful, and some things people say to me actually do hurt.
Jesus, take me back. Grow me, and I want to be better than I need or see to be. Jesus take me back.
"Take You Back" Jeremy Camp.
It isn't good to downgrade your faith. Be in or out. Set apart. Wouldn't I rather, be an example, lead someone to Christ, than try to fit in? Hmmmm....think about it.
Wonderful thing about God, is if you've wandered or grown away from Him, He's usually closer than you think. Can always start over. What hope.
Jesus, take me back.
Psalm 51.
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