Anxiety

Sometimes I wonder if I need medicine for it. It is a horrible feeling. It is life altering.
It is life robbing. I have experience with it for many years. It puts my big God in a tiny box.
Sure there are things that comfort us, whether it'd be people, materials, familiar activities.
Then there are things that rile it up, sin, trauma, school, being late, all the above. Tiny, big, every day, every night, all day, all night. Cuts off appetite, lose sleep. Lose those we care about. Lose God's peace.

For me, it also cuts off my breathing. Yes, it is involuntary I know. But there are times where I am not even breathing. Someone said that is a sign of sleep apnea. I think it is because of plain worry.

So that makes me wonder. When we go to sleep anxious, does our body really rest? Is it expressed in dreams? Is everything really resting as it should be? Even if we go to bed at a decent hour?

Is it unstoppable?

Did God ever intend that emotion for good? Besides the good anxiety? Like, anxious to see our Lord?

Why is that Jesus is so clear about anxiety and worry, that His people are so troubled with it? Chemical? Life events? History, experience? Future? I'd like to study the body and chemical reaction it takes with anxiety. I believe it also is a source to my occasional heart burn.

Something just happened as I was typing this: laughter.

And I feel better. WHAT A WONDER LORD!

Jesus, create more laughter space in me. Halt the anxiety in every way. Shield me from its clutches, drive the enemy with Your bow and arrow and all my anxious triggers I create myself. Flood peace in me, forgive me of sin, wash me clean in the bay. Create in me a new heart, O God, renew a right Spirit within me. Psalm 151.